By Oladotun F. Roy, Honorary Reporter, Nigeria

Nigerian weddings are arguably among the most expensive weddings in the world. Even the Nigerians in Diaspora never forget the essence of the marriage rites and ceremonies. For this reasons, Nigerians are renowned for expending extravagantly on their wedding parties and marriage rites.

Similarly, Korean culture and customs love to celebrate wedding in an elaborate way in which the couple would clad in Hanbok to the Kunbere (Korean Traditional ceremony) as well as other important rites such as Groom's presentation of wild goose to his future mother in law as a symbol of love, trust and togetherness in the marriage among others. However, the most outstanding similarity among these marriage rites of Koreans and Nigerians is Wine sharing between the couple. This wine will be shared and drank from the gourd prepared by the bride's mother.

In the same way, Igbo people of Nigeria believe sharing of wine among the couple during the traditional marriage rites symbolizes love, trust and togetherness in their marriage.

Let us quickly examine the beliefs, Customs and other symbolic acts in typical Nigerian Traditional wedding.

The beliefs

Most Nigerians believe marriage as an institution is sacred hence it should be celebrated in an unforgettable and remarkable way especially when both families of the couple are fully in support of their union. Nigerian cultures forbid two unmarried persons living together as a couple without proper marriage rites. They believe this may bring about misfortune for their offspring in the near future.

In Nigeria, Marriage preparation begins once a young man (Groom to be) identifies a virgin lady (Bride to be) as his love interest and woos her by letting his intention known to her either by himself or through his parents (Proposal). Some Nigerian Tribes, such as Hausa and Yoruba customs, two of the major ethnic groups in Nigeria, the wooing could also be done by the parents of the Groom to be, who must have found the young lady suitable for their son. Having consistently watched and observed her good characters or pedigree for a period of time before deciding to handpick her as a daughter in law. During the wooing period the family of the groom would organize a visit to the family of the chosen 'Bride to be' to express their interest in the girl. This visit is called 'The Introduction Ceremony'. This introduction is simply to seek the consent of the parents of the bride about the marriage proposal.

The Proposal

In Yoruba customs, the family of the 'Groom to be' would never visit the Bride to be house empty-handed, they would visit with edible fruits, yams, honey, wines, salts and palm wine, beers, kola nut to prove to the Bride families that they are rich enough and capable of taking good care of their daughter. While at this introduction, the acceptance and response from the bride to be family to this proposal to give would be the determinant to how soon the wedding and marriage ceremony would take place.

Some Bride to be families having accepted the proposal would agree to pick a particularly date for the proper wedding rites and ceremonies which could be weeks or months after the Introduction Ceremony has taken place. They would also inform the groom about the bride price as well as the list of required items for the marriage rites depending on how expensive they want it to be.

The Engagement

In Nigeria, the engagement ceremony is considered the Traditional wedding. it is the day all the Traditional marriage rites which always consist of prayers, couple dance with talking drum and blessing from the guests. This, most times, often differs and done according to the custom of the every tribe. On same day the couple will be pronounced husband and wife. The Engagement ceremony of Yoruba and Igbo Tribes are usually full of exciting activities, from the arrival of the Groom families with plenty gifts for the brides till the moment the bride is given to groom as his wife. On this day, the groom whom had earlier be informed of the bride price and other required items would come in with loads of gifts for the bride such as food items, clothing, shoes, furniture, domestic animals like goats or cows, wines among others to the house of his bride to be.

The Nigerian Wedding Costumes

Agbada Aso Oke and Fila for the groom (Oko-Iyawo) and Iro and Buba with Gele Aso oke for the bride (Iyawo) accessoried with Coral beads and expensive Gold Jewelries are worn by the couples for the engagement ceremonies. Wearing all these rich coral beads and gold jewelry connote riches and wealth in their marriage

Symbolic Act of Prostrating by Groom in Yoruba Wedding

The exciting part of Yoruba Traditional wedding is when the Groom (Oko-iyawo) and his friends will be asked to prostate before the parents of the bride by Alaga Iduro (Master of Ceremony). This act is a way of thanking the bride's parents for raising a good daughter worthy to be called his wife. It is also a way of showing respect to the bride families (Awon Ana)

Symbolic Act of Wine Carrying in Igbo Wedding

An exciting part of Igbo wedding is "Wine Carrying" This is time when the Bride will be given a Calabash Cup full of Palm wine by her parents and kinsmen to go and search for her Groom among the guests and makes him drink the wine from her hands. This symbolic act is to tell her parents that she truly loves her Groom and will always respect him in marriage. This is commonly done among the Koreans too as mentioned in the first paragraph.

Symbolic Act of Pouring water on the bride feet and washing her feet.

For the Yorubas, after the Engagement, the bride will be taken by her mother in law and other women from her Groom families to the main Entrance of the Groom House at the evening time and pour water on her feet before she steps her feet into her new Husband's home. This is done to ward off evil eyes on her so that she will be fruitful in her marriage.

Symbolic act of White Handkerchief

After the washing of bride's feet, the tradition says that a young lady must keep herself until the wedding night before her groom deflowers her (break the hymen). To be sure that the new bride is a complete virgin before the wedding night, a white handkerchief will be given to the groom by the Groom's mother to clean the blood as evidence of his bride virginity. This will be displayed to all his families who will be waiting anxiously outside his apartment while they copulate for the first time as a couple.  And If on the other hand, the bride was never found a virgin, she would be disgraced and sent away back to her parents' home that Night. And nobody will ever propose to her again.